Rebuttal miLord

There are many things I like to think of myself as; cool, calm, collected, handsome brainy e.t.c. Being a scientist is one of those words and I would beg you not to interrupt with any objections.


Thank you. Moving on…

So as a self acclaimed scientist, I pride myself on being able to see the big picture, because thinking outta the box is one of the basic tenets of science. Lemme not speak too much english and get to the point. Today’s topic is a little bit closer to home….and a wee bit controversial. It’s something we all have thought, heard or talked about at one time or another. Maybe when your momsi caught you in your room introducing “le hand” to “le junior”, or maybe in that awkward “truth or dare” game with that babe when you were feeling frisky and definitely when the news floated through Nigeria that Pastor Chris had said “Masturbation is not a sin” (verification needed). So anyway. At one point or another, this topic has being in your mind for more than just a moment.

I got interested in writing this after reading a friend’s blog. While she was broad-minded and open about it, she also stuck to the religious sphere of the issue which ultimately led to her concluding basically that “masturbation is a mortal sin and you’re gonna go to hell and burn for eternity”. I’m not saying it isn’t a sin. I’m not gonna go into the moral implications or “repercussions” if you so prefer, but I want us to look at this with a slightly broader mentality.

Let’s for a moment remove the cloak of religion and just talk about this as humans. Humans with the scourge of being human, humans with the urges, baseness and other fallibility that comes with humanity itself.

In defense of masturbation:

I guess there’s no need to start defining or describing masturbation, is there? We all already know and may have even practised sef. It goes by a lot of names tho’; wanking, yanking, jerking off, frigging (for the ladies)…e.t.c, but I’m gonna outline five points in its defence;

1) Have you ever wondered the amount of rapes that would have occurred if boys didn’t wank?

Most times we make the mistake of looking at the world through our skewed angle. Take off your rose-coloured googles for a sec and think about this. Everyone else is not as good at controlling their urges as you are.

2). Have you thought about the amout of teenage pregnancies and even disease transmission that would have resulted if masturbation was non-existent?

In 2009, the UK Government joined the Netherlands and other European nations in encouraging teens to masturbate at least daily. This was done in response to data and experience from the other EU member states to reduce teen pregnancy and STDs, and to promote healthy habits.

3). A horny human is a very nervous human.

It is held in many mental health circles that masturbation can relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem. Masturbation can also be particularly useful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the other – in which case masturbation provides a balancing effect and thus a more harmonious relationship.

4).Masturbation’s has got health benefits too.

In 2003, an Australian research team led by Graham Giles of The Cancer Council Australia found that males masturbating frequently had a lower probability to develop prostate cancer.

A 2008 study at Tabriz Medical University found ejaculation reduces swollen nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing. The study author suggests “It can be done – from – time-to-time to alleviate the congestion and the patient can adjust the number of intercourses or masturbations depending on the severity of the symptoms.”

5). And finally masturbation among adolescents contributes to them developing a sense of mastery over sexual impulses, and it has a role in the physical and emotional development of prepubescents and pubescents.

Obviously I had to do a lot of research for this and wikipedia helped a lot. And err…while doing the said research I also came across a lot of things that made me doubt a most of the things i wrote above.

So while believing in knowing the full story and “thinking outta the box”, I also believe in our innate right to thoughts and actions. And don’t get this twisted. I’m not saying you should go and masturbate oh, I’m just saying there are two sides to a story and it helps to know both.


9 thoughts on “Rebuttal miLord

  1. Quote from you: “Obviously I had to do a lot of research for this and wikipedia helped a lot. And err…while doing the said research I also CAME ACROSS a lot of things that made me doubt a most of the things i wrote above.” (pay attention to the words in capitals)
    I see what you have been doing in your spare time. Knock it off, or reduce it at least before you get blind (I hear you already have hairy palms)

    • You should be used in some sorta experiment mahn….maybe to ascertain the extent to which a human mind can be corrupt, cos trust me you’re the pioneer when it comes to that….blazing the trail for us to follow.

  2. LOL I choose to be silent on this matter.

  3. First??? Stupid argument LOOOOOOL

  4. But seriously @vunnderkid! “Came” did u have to think that far????

  5. My mind was within kissing distance of me, Awesome Tshyka…

  6. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    *just passing*
    more interested in the comings and goings of the writer nd readers.
    Take it easy ooo before you guys yank it off altogether..nd go to hell without *u knw wat*

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