What Would You Ask God?

Last sunday I was chilling at home, my empty mind being slowly poisoned by satellite tv when I heard a knock on my door. It was Jehovah’s witnesses, doing what we all know they do best.

Anyway, after exhausting my best excuses and palliatives – I had to bring out the big guns – they left me with a very thought provoking “Watch Tower Magazine.”

“What would you like to ask God”

Just imagine, you just wake up in the morning;
Brush your smelly mouth,
Baff,
Dress,
Run go enter bus,
»»»»just to keep your appointment with God!

You reach there, enter the elevator to heaven.
Press “I” for infinitum and be whisked by a divinely propelled mechanical system into the inner sanctum, the Holy of Holies.
I can just imagine myself sitting on clouds, under the scrutiny of the inscrutable secretarial angel. *Poker face* I go first update my PM while waiting;

G lounge chillin’.

Or maybe I go put “on ma grind” or one of them lame things you Earthlings put on your BBM, Facebook or even tweet when you’re fortunate enough to gain entrance into a place reserved for your betters. Or in these circumstances, your ‘holiers.’

So the inscrutable angel faced chique will then tell me in a surprising British accent.

“Mighty G will see you now.”

Truth be told, I’m at a loss as to what to write now. If I’m finally there in the presence of HIM, werrin I go ask? My first thought was money! Money, money and lots of money!!! Asin ehn make money they pursue me round everywhere, make I run outta space to store money. You get the drift or should I explain more?

No need to shout, I understand you’ve gotten the drift!

But my mentality shifted a little while I was in church for the cross over service last night and the pastor was praying for God to embarrass “us” with blessings this 2013. And I so wanted to point out the meaning of “Embarrass” to him

Embarrass: to cause confusion and shame to; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert; abash.

So people will now be talking about me and they’ll be like:
“Dankaro was so Embarrassed by the obscenely obscene level of his wealth, apparently every female he met tended to fall in love with him .”

On second thoughts I think I’ll like that tho’.

Anyways while sitting in church waiting for the service to end my thoughts ran wild. From very selfish personal ones to philanthropic thoughts and ultimately to heroic ones.

Maybe I’ll ask God for world peace and win all awards known to man.

OR…

Maybe I’ll ask him to do something bout this global warming and ozone layer thingy and also win every awards known to man.

OR…

I’ll sha ask him for a cure to cancer and still win all awards know to man.

OR…

Maybe a cure to HIV……he may not like that tho’ *thinking*

See… all my questions involved winning all the awards known to man. Goes a long way to prove that I’m inherently selfish.

So I’ve decided to throw this question at y’all:

‘Tis the first day of a new year. It’s 2013 and we all have hopes and expectations for this new chance at a better life.

So If you could ask God;

one request, answer guaranteed!

Drop a comment and tell me.

Nothing is too wild or crazy… bear in mind that “The distance between genius and insanity is measured by success”

What would you ask Him?

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23 thoughts on “What Would You Ask God?

  1. I was thinking about the question from when I saw the mention. I dunno for sure what I want from God, but contentment shouldn’t be afar off.

  2. LOL…these kind of muses nearly led to my being hospitalized in 1999. It’s all good.

    It’s a known fact that man is selfless for selfish reasons, so don’t be too hard on yourself, padi mi.

    If I had one question? To find true love. Methinks I am yet to find it…

  3. Lemme think and come back.

  4. I think I’ll ask for the power to be all convincing. I mean I can actually talk you into believing hell is better while I walk my way to heaven. That would be best described using the word “Awesome” but then again, I’m the AWESOME TSHYKA! Happy new year friends, Foes n Hoes!

  5. Naija people sef!!! U guys can lyk wahala! U can’t ask for one fin, dats 4 sure. I’d ask dat wat He wants happens in ma lyf me shd be able 2accept it gracefully!!!

  6. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    did u get ma comment now?

  7. awwwwwww…..anoda “re-comment”..this should be d 9th..I must really lyk dis post
    uh so….I’d choose eternal life 4 ma family..*plus me oo*…cos I figure “every oda thing shall be added unto us”
    *heroine me!!!*

    • Sowie bout the mix-up dear….had to iron out some tecnical details.

      Eternal life huh?

      In the words of the vunderkind….Isquint

      Then wah would you spend that length of time doing? Conquering the world?

      • wat?…lol..itz eternal lyf in heaven na…
        Datz d whole idea..*seek ye first…..*
        how sweet huh?
        Evryoda thing on earth can be achieved by His grace…but heaven z so hard to get I’d take d guarantee.
        *hummimg world’s greatest*

      • Sheikh(Dr) Pheel Al-rudeem

        Hey Mulicat or Mulianimal… Heaven ain’t so difficult, d only prerequisite is ‘BE HOLY’
        I really lyk wt u intend to ask for (it shows she loves family) bt I don’t think he ll grant dt cos it is written “we shall all work out our salvation personally”
        It ll b nice having a family wit u in Dubia cos I think u ll put d family u produce urslf 1st above other earthly thgs … Hehehe

      • Sheikh(Dr) Pheel Al-rudeem

        Hey Mulicat or Mulianimal… Heaven ain’t so difficult, d only prerequisite is ‘BE HOLY’
        I really lyk wt u intend to ask for (it shows she loves family) bt I don’t think he ll grant dt cos it is written “we shall all work out our salvation [path to heaven] personally”
        It ll b nice having a family wit u in Dubia cos I think u ll put d family u produce urslf 1st above other earthly thgs[don’t b glad nw, I’m still considering d option] … Hehehe

  8. alas! A sheikh who doesn’t get d instruction…
    It says “any one thing u want”…”nd He’ll give”.
    U re just jealous u didn’t think of it first…lol..nw u re going to either work real hard *cos itz nt easy @ all to be holy*, or go to hell…hehehehehehehe
    *choose to not c d “dubia part”*

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