2012 – Lé FPT Chronicles

True Story.

True Story.

You should know bout me:

1). I’m loud, crass and utterly clueless, blame that on a loud, crass and utterly clueless secondary school

2). I’m one of them nondescript guys you meet today and forget tomorrow. what can I say?…semi-cool

3). If it comes down to choosing between my wife and my mom……do I need to complete that?

4). I’m self centered, self absorbed, and self oriented……. that’s just the way it is.

5) My claim to fame can be stated in the following words” I’m tall and I use glasses”

6). And despite all my faults n short comings, I still have family who love me n friends who tolerate me.

Now playing: owl city – speed of love.
(cos everybody listen to music while writing nowadays)

This has being a year I actively looked forward to, and fortunately, I so wasn’t disappointed. I’m DankarO shintO(HNIC) and apparently, nowadays I actually like being referred to as funky Dee. Anyway this has being a cool year altogether. Lemme walk you through it.

January 1st 12: 32AM

I was in church. *sighs* if you know me well, then you’d definitely know that isn’t where I would have chosen to enter the new year, buh trust my “ultra-cool parents” I had the choice between church and well……more church. So church it was.

January as a whole was spent in a cocoon of anticipation and anxiety in equal amounts I would say! And left over christmas meat.

So was February too
(Christmas meat don finish by then sha). Your guy was now supposed to be in 400l, and apparently in AGR you don’t get to advance that far if you’ve owe more that 22 credits. So me and my erstwhile nameless friends waited earnestly for our result. you know uniben na! Result gree come out??

Do I need to tell ya I passed? Not so well tho’ buh the key word here being “passed”

Was spent realizing all that glitter ain’t gold. Mehn Field practical Training was hell! Running errands, clearing bushes, shoveling pig shii (literally mahn!)
Less just conclude and say march wasn’t fun!, indeed those were dark times.

So was May and June.
In may I got to spend one whole entire month in the university of Benin farm project. This ordeal I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. I actually sent an email to the CIA explaining the fact that I’ve discovered the ultimate torture technique. Still waiting on a reply tho’

Interlude: you’ve probably realize this is mostly bout school yh? I don’t like talking bout my family sha…..we paranoid that way, anyway all was good on the home front.

in june there was light at the end of the tunnel, first semester was about to end, and with it our in-station part of the year long industrial training program. Every body was getting ready for the out-station flexing. Appetite whetting and all that shii
I just can’t forget that day, june 25th le monday, I left my house with my bags and baggages,get that? And proceeded to meet my crew. Vip flight all the way to Songhai Delta Amukpe. Out station was on! Another notable thing bout that day was that I got to see ma real dude ifeanyi that day…..after bout 5year! I see you bruv!

In july:
we were living the dream!
Twuz my birthdae month too,
july 10: twilight met us at mama Sheddy. who would have known that palmwine and Remy martins was “IT”? I don’t really remember that evening sha, I doubt anybody on my table remembers it.
Idons night club in sapele was on point! There we had our Jonzing experience, wrote about that here already
Madt month!!!

August-august….oh wonderful August:

Note: now playing: Tuface- Ihe Neme!

Motto for the month of August; Drink beer and fuck fear!

This month was all sorts of AWESOME! Out-station was the “P”! I remember those nights we left the girls hostel bout 3am in the morning! Like we could try that in school?

There was the good: I got to bunk in the same room with my five real guys: le Springus, El Pynoh de Saryote, World_FM, Apase Atere and the King Ehis. My boy tsyhka was next door too. Everyday was a freaking parry!

There was the bad: almost everybody fell. sick (blame that on bad water and mosquitoes). Except me tho’ DankarO’ kids don’t fall for anyfin….not even love!

There was the ugly: we had to report for work every at 8 and close at 5.

And there was the Awesome: *CENSORED*

Now playing: Funky Dee- are you gonna bang doe

Pls tell me you got that!


This month I also learnt how to play Snooker, boys can be fiercely competitive sha ! Many a day’s meal was forfeited cos le springus chop my money. Can’t believe you let me go hungry mahn!

August 16: last day in Songhai eve, preparing for the sent forth party, ruining our shirts writing names and stuffs on them. Tshyka wrote sumfin worth repeating here tho’
It wasn’t fun without ma dudes big B and EDK and ma dudette @Rk_dash!

August 18: Most. Amazing. House. Party. Ever! Fresh from sapele and got home to meet a party! Elder bruhs birthday. Tis a pity you didn’t come tho’*biggrin* that day was off-tha-hook.

Back to school ooh…..writing 16 courses in one semester! Need I say more?
Month was craay! And hectic
I literally read my brains out!

16 courses!!!
No time to talk!!
Or brush, bathe or wash my clothes
Was kinda a pig that month.

I finally got the courage to post my first article onto this wordpress account I had open almost 5 months earlier. And my mahn Awesome Nak had a lot to do with that.

Apparently we had a very proactive Vice Chancellor, who was so active that I started my project work before we even resume final year…..yea, agric na 5 years

I met a girl too, this one’s different. Buh alas she’s gat a degree in active friend-zoning, working on her masters already, me being her thesis!

And err yea, I got elected Speaker of my faculty

* lykaboss!*

Final year tins! Already envisioning my final week already. And I’ve gat a personal theme for it too; week inerebraition!

Bin busy tho’, working on my project, kotowing to my project supervisor, reading for next year exams….mehn I need that 2:1, and writing for my blog in between al that.
Don’t worry, al izz well.

In all this, the year taught me some funny lessons!

#2012 taught me:

1) pig piss apparently can get a niccuh high*stop staring at me that way jwo*

2) Life’s too short to be taken seriously, relax and go with the flow, things will always work themselves out, you might just die and go to hell 2mao!

3) I learnt that hard work doesn’t kill, it just cramps your muscles, leaves you weak, angry and also with a very strange sense of satisfaction at a job well done.*i think popsi has being trying to teach me that*

4). In 2012 I actually learnt the value of teamwork, and how to be a team player. After months of fighting and worst, me and my group actually learnt how to work together and make things happen in a big way. Big ups guys. And joseph no need to dey fear me oo, I really woulda broken just 2 of your bones

5). I’ve heard so much bout the power of the mind, actually got to see it in play this year. When the going got rough, I toughed it out and tins worked out for good. Go check out my result “AGR08000**”

6) One of the more valuable lessons was about friends and family! Imagine life without the two capital “F’s”

7) *sighs* I also learnt that girls are such fickle creatures, never not to trust them, never care about them and never touch them except only with my 11inches pole.

8) I learnt to seize the moment and become the proponent cos I’m all the strength I need in times unbearable-MI

9) I learnt the value of prioritizing…..some shii ain’t just worth the stress!

10) And finally I learnt to just be me! Cos I’m Awesome. Repeat that after me!

*And that’s all I’m gonna say about that*

Now playing: MI Abaga–EPIC

I’ve never being one to make new year resolutions, don’t believe in them (to-do lists for the first few days of the year), buh I’ve gat 3 goals for next year; graduate with a 2:1 CGPA, train as a screenwriter and win an award for “something”. Actually got three things in mind, but I’m not gonna share….yet

In retrospect:
2012 was awesome,buh 2013’s gonna be Epic yo

*dusts shoulder*

Beht of cos, itz the naija dude!

Wishing y’all a wonderful New Year!


14 thoughts on “2012 – Lé FPT Chronicles

  1. U had quite a gud run in 2012; wish I could say the same.

  2. @ 7 lessons learnt…..so re guys too…..neva trust em….neva care bout dem…..cuz if u really deserve it u won’t go thru d pains gals put u thru,……u neva told me bout u meeting a gal in november….**thumbs up**

  3. Sheikh(Dr) Pheel Al-rudeem

    Nice one… U are kinda funny on ur blog… Thumbs up.
    I still get u for mind abt taking u to dubai maybe in 2013

  4. 2,3,6…In fact errthing yo!
    *Go on dust your shoulders off* Like a boss ma niccuh.

    • Thanks a lot fam!

      Can’t even begin to imagine 2012 without you. Would have being filled with “gbagauns” and iil-placed comma’s.

      Can’t imagine 2013 either.

      *tentative bruh hugs yh?*

  5. Hey! The year’s over!!!! Where the fuck is my lighter, we should smoke tHis shit up. 2012-Songhai Amukpe-HUSTLE, one word…..MARVEL-FUCKING-LOUS!

    • Calm down mahn….lemme guess you’re in the street, prolly in front of your house burning tyre abi?

      Buh you damn right tho’…..MAVER-effing-LOUS!

      Awesome year dude! Thanks for being there.

  6. to a year of fun, stess and “love”
    wishing u extraordinary delightz dis yr
    cool memory mahn…do u keep a journal?

    • Cheers ma’am

      Why’s the love in quote tho’? …..lol

      Wishing you an Awesome year too!!

      And err…..bout the journal thingy; Naa….my lifes way too boring to be recorded daily.


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