Me buffdae Present

For the past four years, every December 23rd, I’d wake up with a smile, I could just hear EDK’s buffdae beer calling me name. Sitting there in the fridge at Royal marble’s bar, chillin’ and getting all frost up for my gullet.

Alas for the past four years, every December 23rd night I always ended up going to bed sober. Cause all he could offer was a picture of absolute vodka- sent through BBM.

This year, I refuse to be disappointed. So as part of my strategy to get a wee bit high today I’m writing you some few lines. Here goes tho’

There is a fella named EDK
Mind’s as dirty as a troll’s cave
Brain more flexible than water cane
In fact, he was a true son of Kane!

A’ight ya, this here’s a special one for ma niccuh, self acclaimed “pro ghost writer”,
Most Sexy voiced OAP at Rhythm FM, accomplished broadcaster, and all that many “termi-wash-nologies” people say to make their friends happy.

Actually I wouldn’t have bothered with this, when you, EDK no go still do boys well for your buffdae, buh since Wanna did for Niro on his buffdae and the Emperor of Ethiopia; Haile Selassie did for his Head Eunuch-in-charge on his Castration Remembrance Day, I’ll do this for you bruh, straight from my spleen that is( choked full of bile and other mundane BS). I’ve bin experimenting with some nursery rhymes tho’ perfect for his warped mentality and pervy sense of humor.

Niccuh be black as night
Darker than coal mixed with columbite
Lying in dark with her white tights
All she can see of you is your bright bite

If you don’t get that then you’re way too young to be on twitter, way too young to surf for online porn, infact since your mind is so innocent, then you’re way too young to own a blackberry smart phone. Obviously you’re the opposite of smart.

We went on a rampage
Exploits recorded on heaven’s pages
Of all deeds done,
he’s was the the greatest
Cos he apparently came the latest.

If this were twitter, I’m very sure someone for don jump in my mentions with the various variations of the word “sexual”.
This is a public service announcement tho’ my niccuh @itzEDK is the epitome of endowed. Trust me, I know…..in the most “No Homo” way possible.

He likes to be called the Plumber;
No amateur pipe-laying here;
As proud of the D as he can be;
Connecting pipes for all to see.

On a more serious note tho’, ma niccuh EDK is cool as ice and twice as nice! Talented and ambitious….tho’ he just can’t keep to deadlines sha.

On your special day
Consider your luck.
You could have been born
As a dog, cow, or cat!

If EDK had being born a dog, them for do use am serve juju since, I’ve heard that such black a coal dogs are in very high demand by herbalists as a component of native viagra.
If he had being a cat unko? I’m very sure he woulda being the object of a very wide and public manhunt involving pitchforks and touches….them for hunt you down and burn your black ass!!

Finally niccuh…..I wish ya all the best! Itz being a while and I’m sure we still gat lotsa time ahead of us. Just continue being your self. Like M.I said; be blaq; be beautiful(No homo); be strong; be tough and be Korrect and above all, be all you can be

A quick death and an easy one;
A pretty girl and an honest one;
A cold beer — and another one.
Happy Birthday!

😀

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2 thoughts on “Me buffdae Present

  1. U a real brother mehn. Crazy, buh I love ya mahn! #nohomo

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